Sunday, March 30, 2008


Woke up Saturday morning, did not have a good sleep. Pain sometimes is just so annoying that sleep evades me. So, lack of sleep and then an overcast day made for a crappy eye day.

Well, regardless of pain or being able to see or not, I walk the dogs. it is a time that I so enjoy. My dogs look forward to it probably just as much as I do. We may not go as far as we used to before my hip issue, but they don't care. They are out with mom! Right now I am walking THREE dogs at one time. We have Austria visiting for a couple of weeks and she is a joy. I was not sure I would be able to walk all dogs together with my vision but have learned that I can do it with no problems.

So, we leave and the sky is overcast, hazy blah wreaking havoc on my eyes. I say to the dogs, good thing you all stop at curbs. Otherwise I am sure there would be sprains or strains on days like that.

We managed our walk, and I still had to go to store. Dropped dogs off at home and mulled over whether I should take my cane or not.. hahaha. Silly me decides NOT.

I could use it after all, bad lighting.. crappy blurry vision makes for a stressful long walk. With the dogs I have learned to trust them where they go etc. On my own it is different.

Goal... learn how to use cane AND walk dogs together... should be an interesting goal. I am lefthanded and dogs walk on left side. GRIN..will be fun, but I will do it.

So I come home, and dogs are happy to see me... I am grumpy... but dogs change my mood. I grab my camera and take some pictures.... why am I always happier with a camera and dogs as my subject?

OH well.. that was my day.. and here are some pictures.

Monday, March 24, 2008


Words are never easy for me
I feel so deep and fear to share
So I choose what I say
Choose what I let out

It’s hard to say I’m afraid
Hey look at me
Hold my hand
Listen to me cry

I am used to keeping it all to me
Storing it, thinking on it
Building the words
The way to say it right

To make it not about me
But about a question, a thought
Make it sound okay
That I am not really afraid

Words pound in my head
Drowning me in the sadness
If only I could open the door
Find the key to let them out.

©Nora K Devane 3-20-08


I’m crawling out of the ashes
Trying to rise again
Reborn, the phoenix

Crawling through the pain
Fighting every step
Every tear,
Every horror

I’m struggling to walk
Standing tall
Head held high
Eyes clear with pride

Crawling through the ashes
Burning pain
Tearing my soul
Rebuilding my heart

Crawling, struggling
I will make my way
To the top
Spread my wings and fly

Nora K Devane

Thursday, March 20, 2008

This Ride

This past week has been like a ride.. going to doctor, finding out that on top of my edema becoming worse, I now have glaucoma in my right eye. I have been up in the air how I feel..
I realize I have been kind of on pause...if that makes sense. I am starting to feel overwhelmed these days. So I sit and write...
I’ve sat back for so many years
Watching this ride
Seeing the ups
Hearing all the downs

Always avoiding my turn
Thinking I will never get on
My turn would never happen
Someone else was always in front

Yet here I am, first in line
On a ride I’d rather skip
The ups I miss
The Downs I am sinking in

Never did I think I would climb aboard
Feel this hurt,
Ride through this pain
Want so bad to get off

But here I am no return ticket
Just a heart full of fear
Head full of questions
And not knowing where to start

©Nora K Devane

Friday, March 7, 2008

I am struggling

I’m struggling with this pain
The words are jumbled
They may never make sense
The pain so deep, I ache inside

You were evil, and I was so naïve
So long ago,
Yet I remember like yesterday
So much pain, so much hate
It’s all boiling up inside of me.

Don’t cry, don’t think, don’t breath
It won’t hurt if you don’t move
No one cares, no one ever does
Can you see them here, holding your hand?

“You are nobody, just do as I say
Then you won’t hurt
Then you won’t cry
Then I will be happy”
That’s what you said

Your friends can’t help you
They have their lives
They don’t need yours,
They don’t care,
“we’ll” tell them goodbye

“I don’t like how you look
Don’t like how you talk
Don’t like how you cook
Clean, or breathe
I will never love you”

You hurt me, I hate you
You made me hate me
You took my soul
You took my …I just don’t know

I am struggling
The words hurt
The memories hurt
I need to release them
I need to evict them

I am struggling
In pain, in tears
Alone I have felt this
Never to share
Cause you said
No one would care

Nora K Devane

© 10-17-07