Another update wow

OK, so yeah I have totally not been paying attention to this site, shame on me.
Decided I needed to sit down and do a sort of update and maybe edit some recent photo's that I have taken to post as well.
Been busy I suppose, life sometimes does get in the way. Sometimes I just don't feel like it also
I have been taking a lot of photo's as always, some good, some plain crap LOL
This past month we bought a new camera for me to go more towards the pro side of what I really want to be doing and I have been just loving it.
Learning so much on how to use the new DSLR and just loving taking pictures with it.
Now am looking at a new zoom lens as well for it. Thai is a must pf course.
Well, that is all for now, will post some pictures later
ttfn

It has been a while

Well, it has been a little while since I have been on here. So an update is in order.

For a while my eyes were just a royal pain and I was a frustrated me, but I did my best to get past it.

Started going to pre-agility classes with our Border Collie Harlee end of April and after a rough barky start I think it will be fun. Harlee is a bit fear aggressive and well she will need to be worked with. I can do that. The second class was better for Harlee but a bit more difficult for me. The lighting there is not the best for a VIP and well I have no problem asking for help, which I did. They were fine with helping me out and as we get further on in the lessons I should be able to do this without help.

Was fun, I came home tired and so did our pup.Went to eye doc the other day for a recheck and wonderful news, my edema is almost totally gone! Also the side effect from the shot is totally gone!! That is great news, so I am pleased.I have been messing around with my camera lately taking pictures of flowers ALOT! Trying different settings and just click, save or delete!

Here are a few, enjoy!!

Low Vision

Well, yesterday was my low vision assessment and to be honest I felt like it was a total waste of time. I know it was not totally but how I feel at the moment.
My acuity is in the toilet, and regardless of me saying to them that I think it has gotten worse, I did not want it confirmed. Silly me, still get upset by something I knew was there, obivious. Oh well. hurts just the same.
I am frustrated by the fact that the doctor has me taking this shit medicine and well somehow I feel it is NOT working. All it has done is make me puke, puke and puke some more. How is that for fun?
Thankfully in regards to the med I do have some good days where I actually get some food to stay down. How exciting. I mean like I asked Dan, what size do you go to after you hit size freakin 0?? Or do I just disappear then? HELL NO!! bring on the buckets of icecream.. or something dammit!
Do I sound sarcastic? Maybe because I am.
So, now I have to wait for more insurance crap to be approved before I can even get on with any OT. whatever...plus the whole objective of the visit to low vision clinic was to get O & M training. Something that I have fought in my head for a long time. SO when I finally get to that zone... oh gee they don't offer it. I have to go somewhere else.
Now, that zone has kind of backed off, I am leary, and I am weary.
HAHA funny me.
Well, so today I am just venting, needing to write something, yet poetry won't come.
I am sad, scared, just plain scared. Some days it is like that.
Today is that way.
Tomorrow will be better, cause I always gets past it.
Guess I will walk my dogs, clear my head, maybe take camera cause if I take a picture and I "get" it, well I always feel better.
How silly am I really?
I just know I am me, and I don't know how to be any different.

Nora

Saturday

Woke up Saturday morning, did not have a good sleep. Pain sometimes is just so annoying that sleep evades me. So, lack of sleep and then an overcast day made for a crappy eye day.

Well, regardless of pain or being able to see or not, I walk the dogs. it is a time that I so enjoy. My dogs look forward to it probably just as much as I do. We may not go as far as we used to before my hip issue, but they don't care. They are out with mom! Right now I am walking THREE dogs at one time. We have Austria visiting for a couple of weeks and she is a joy. I was not sure I would be able to walk all dogs together with my vision but have learned that I can do it with no problems.

So, we leave and the sky is overcast, hazy blah wreaking havoc on my eyes. I say to the dogs, good thing you all stop at curbs. Otherwise I am sure there would be sprains or strains on days like that.

We managed our walk, and I still had to go to store. Dropped dogs off at home and mulled over whether I should take my cane or not.. hahaha. Silly me decides NOT.

I could use it after all, bad lighting.. crappy blurry vision makes for a stressful long walk. With the dogs I have learned to trust them where they go etc. On my own it is different.

Goal... learn how to use cane AND walk dogs together... should be an interesting goal. I am lefthanded and dogs walk on left side. GRIN..will be fun, but I will do it.

So I come home, and dogs are happy to see me... I am grumpy... but dogs change my mood. I grab my camera and take some pictures.... why am I always happier with a camera and dogs as my subject?

OH well.. that was my day.. and here are some pictures.

words

Words are never easy for me
I feel so deep and fear to share
So I choose what I say
Choose what I let out

It’s hard to say I’m afraid
Hey look at me
Hold my hand
Listen to me cry

I am used to keeping it all to me
Storing it, thinking on it
Building the words
The way to say it right

To make it not about me
But about a question, a thought
Make it sound okay
That I am not really afraid

Words pound in my head
Drowning me in the sadness
If only I could open the door
Find the key to let them out.


©Nora K Devane 3-20-08

Crawling

I’m crawling out of the ashes
Trying to rise again
Undefeated
Reborn, the phoenix

Crawling through the pain
Fighting every step
Every tear,
Every horror

I’m struggling to walk
Standing tall
Head held high
Eyes clear with pride

Crawling through the ashes
Burning pain
Tearing my soul
Rebuilding my heart

Crawling, struggling
I will make my way
To the top
Spread my wings and fly

Nora K Devane
©11-01-07

This Ride

This past week has been like a ride.. going to doctor, finding out that on top of my edema becoming worse, I now have glaucoma in my right eye. I have been up in the air how I feel..

I realize I have been kind of on pause...if that makes sense. I am starting to feel overwhelmed these days. So I sit and write...

I’ve sat back for so many years
Watching this ride
Seeing the ups
Hearing all the downs

Always avoiding my turn
Thinking I will never get on
My turn would never happen
Someone else was always in front

Yet here I am, first in line
On a ride I’d rather skip
The ups I miss
The Downs I am sinking in

Never did I think I would climb aboard
Feel this hurt,
Ride through this pain
Want so bad to get off

But here I am no return ticket
Just a heart full of fear
Head full of questions
And not knowing where to start


©Nora K Devane